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Married Secrets is an online dating web site that caters to married people looking to recapture that feeling.

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But most have taken their pictures recently and surreptitiously.

One man has his arm across the shoulders of a young Jon Bon Jovi.

He complains that she performs oral sex as if it were a chore.

He says he likes it rough, and tells me he cheated for the first time a few months ago. A male writer meets with one Biderman is right about types like F., but wrong that all the men on Ashley Madison want sex and sex alone. "Either way," he says, "it's driving me crazy." What's terrible is that H. The woman he is thinking of cheating on is still only his fiancée.

For my own safety, I won't reveal what I'm really doing. In my profile, I say that I'm married, because in addition to avoiding escorts, many of the men on the site don't want the complications of seeing a single woman. Sex only scratches the surface In between his kid's soccer game and a pizza party, B.* sends a picture of himself on a golf course.

One of the men has a tagline on his profile that reads, "At your cervix, madam." Within moments of signing in, instant messages flush my screen, emails and winks from muscular men and men much older than me and young ones and proud fathers and one gray grandfather, worming out like monsters from the baseboards. In their bathrooms with their i Phones held up to the mirror, their faces partially obscured, their wives' J'adore behind them, on top of the toilet.

He knew he was smarter, but she was beautiful and kind, and that was enough for him then.By definition, Ashley Madison, a dating site for cheaters, is a disreputable place. Your first impulse may be to throw your arms up in rage and condemn its members, the ones trawling for an affair or the chance to talk dirty in an instant message. I set out to ask married men on the site not only why they cheat, but why they do it so boldly, admitting their recklessness and confessing their betrayals on the Internet as though their morality and fidelity were items up for auction on e Bay. I say I'm scared to live the rest of my life with unexplored desire. There are the ones who just want to meet to have sex; you can tell because their handles are direct and uncomplicated: Yours4Lust and Deep Passion Man.To get started, I create a profile with a fake name and a dark picture of myself and chart a plan. Then I'll meet a few of them for a drink, but there will be no drunkenness. The rest of what I say is mostly true, and to weed out the more aggressive guys, my tone comes off as exploratory, not sexual. They list measurements and ask for yours, as though it's merely a matter of fitting one puzzle piece into another. Instead, I respond to the thoughtful ones, whose tales might help answer my questions.He also included a dispatch from the previous evening's softball game, from the excitement of the opening huddle to the crushing defeat. He lets himself be vulnerable too, sharing memories of the beloved dog he had to put down, the long drive home from the vet when he could not stop crying.More on Redbook:18 most annoying male habits, explained51 days of new outfits (for less than 0!He joined Ashley Madison because that encounter left him wanting more. "Everything about her consumed my thoughts, and that's when I first signed up.